Thursday, June 12, 2008
How Do You Discipline Your Children?
In our culture today, it seems that there is a strong aversion to parental discipline in any form. The "experts" as some would call them would argue that to discipline a child is to restrict him from reaching his fullest potential. These experts would also tell us that discipline fosters low self-esteem and insecurities that could be avoided if a child were given the chance to live life freely, unencumbered by any restrictions in life. Tragically, many parents have bought into such fallacious wisdom, believing that they will demonstrate love to their children best if they remove any restraints or consequences that could evoke "bad feelings."
God's Word is rather counter-instructional to this modern philosophy. As one reads the 29th Chapter of Proverbs, one finds that discipline is a productive ingredient in child rearing. If a parent is willing to discipline his child lovingly and constructively, then the child will respond with "peace" to the parent. That is, the child will learn to respect those in authority over him, and will glean from his parents the wisdom needed to bless himself and others. As the child honors his parents (i.e. by respecting their position as spiritual leaders in the home and their accumulated wisdom through years of personal experience), he will bring joy to them. The parents will bask in the pride of knowing that their child is fulfilling his calling given to him by the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-3).
Time and again I have watched the children of loving, principle-driven, discipline-oriented parents accomplish great things with their lives. As these parents disciplined their children, they instilled within them an awareness of respect and responsibility in life, which in turn birthed in these children the ability to self-discipline themselves to achieve their goals. These children would grow to demonstrate stability, maturity, and respect as adults. They would become well-behaved, secure, and confident, for they knew that the boundaries that were placed early in their lives by their parents were consistent, dependable, and ultimately rewarding. These children could trust the standards enacted by their parents as those which would provide personal blessing, as long as these principles were respected and obeyed.
The second part of this proverb is the antithesis of effective child-rearing through discipline, namely that the perpetual pampering of a person will lead to "grief in the end." I have observed parents who haphazardly created an environment of "anything goes" in the home. Being afraid of hurting their children or even losing their children's affections, these parents decided to let their children pursue any and all desires, irrespective of the selfish, hedonistic disposition that this approach was purporting . These children had no consequences for disobedience; they would be free to do what they willed in any manner that they willed. Tragically as these children would grow into adulthood, they would lack the abilities of discipline and restraint that would help them live honorable lives based upon order and courtesy. Many of these children even would refuse to honor and respect their parents, for their parents created within them the philosophy that all ends should gratify these children's selfish pursuits. Thus for these children, personal satisfaction would become the end to which all things must yield, even if others are hurt in the process. These children would bring dishonor and grief to their parents and to society.
Many of our societal ills have been created by dysfunctional homes, where the parents have not fulfilled their God-mandated responsibility of modeling Godly maturity for their children and fostering an environment of Godly discipline that would give their children structure, support, and stability. In speaking of the tremendous correlation between familial leadership and the health of a society, A. Skevinton Wood (Principle of Cliff College, in Derbyshire, England), has said, "Disobedience to parents is a symptom of a disintegrating social structure, and Christian families have a particular responsibility not to contribute to the collapse of an ordered community." Those of us for have submitted ourselves to the Lordship of Jesus Christ should not fall prey to the prevailing philosophies of modern parenting. As we lead our children, we need to follow the principles found in the Holy Scriptures, for it is only then that we will find that our children will respond with blessings to our Lord, to us, and to others.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Each Generation's Responsibility
Each generation that is birthed has a tremendous responsibility to tell subsequent generations about the Exalted, Majestic Lord, who loves us beyond comprehension and who showers us with blessings beyond measure. As God brings each generation into the world, so too He calls them to be the agent of revelation to "speak of the glorious splendor of (His) majesty . . . (and) tell of the power of (His) awesome works" (Psalm 145:4-6). Since our foundational purpose in life (and the reason for being created in the first place) is to glorify God, we would do well to exalt the Sovereign Lord who is worthy of our worship. And of course this "worship" is more than sharing mere perfunctory words of "religiosity"; it encompasses a lifestyle wholly surrendered to the One True God.
As I have now had the opportunity to observe people and their "spirituality" for over 40 years, I have come to realize that many people summon God for His blessings (and sometimes His deliverance from bad situations), but they don't seem to be interested in fostering a rich, fulfilling, intimate relationship with Him . . . . and this indifference is affecting the next generation. People seem to be going through the motions of corporate worship on Sundays, yet they appear to be completely disinterested in the purpose of being there in the first place (to glorify God). Not only do they have no committed relationship with God throughout the week (except the occasional token "blessing" prayer before the evening meal), they also see Sunday worship as an obligation to satisfy the Lord, family, and/or conscience. They may be singing songs like, "All to Jesus I Surrender" during the worship service, but their minds are thinking about lunch, or a Monday business meeting, or the televised football game that afternoon. They would tell you that they are religious, but they have compartmentalized God into a very small part of their total life experience. They will call upon God only when a crisis necessitates His intervention. There is no excitement . . . no passion . . . no confidence . . . no genuine, heartfelt love and adoration for the Lord. Every act of worship seems to be more about the show than the substance.
Tragically, the next generation sees the duplicity of such shallowness in one's commitment to the Lord, and determine that they want nothing of it. To be sure, this next generation desires spiritual things, because God has placed such things in the hearts of all men (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Still, they don't want their parent's religion, because they see that it is a lot of formality without significance. They do not observe the powerful transformation that the Lord brings to those who passionately seek Him; instead, they see stale, repetitive, religious practices that are spiritual space fillers in one's life. I believe that this is a reason why only 4% of the millennial generation (late teens-early twenties) has any genuine commitment to Christ. They want spiritual substance, but they see that their parent's worship is most assuredly not that!
We need to re-examine ourselves to see if we are pursuing the Lord genuinely and passionately. Are we desirous of a love relationship with Him? Do we feast upon His continuous presence in our lives, and do we earnestly desire to obey His will? Are we more than "compartmentalized Christians" in that we savor God's involvement in every part of our lives as our Lord and Savior? If we have this disposition of heartfelt devotion for the Lord, then the next generation will take note. And they will be more inclined to seek the Lord, for they will see in us that He (God) transforms lives, bringing forth purpose, completion, satisfaction, and fulfillment. Our best testimony to the next generation will be with our lives of genuine surrender to the Lord.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Don't Lift Your Horns
One of the reoccurring themes found in Scripture is the warning not to defy the One True Lord. In this passage above, the reference to horns is mentioned. In antiquity, horns were synonymous with strength or power; it could refer to a person's disposition or determination toward someone or something. Jesus for example is referred to as the "Horn of Salvation for us" in Luke 1:69. His death and resurrection is the "power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes" (Romans 1:16). He alone provides satisfaction for the remission of our sins before a Holy God, for He alone is the "atoning sacrifice for our sins" (1 John 2:2).
For the above passage to mention the wicked lifting up their horns would be for them to attempt to rebel against the Sovereign Lord and thwart His will. The Lord warns that such vain attempts are utterly futile, for the very horns of defiance will be cut off of the wicked by God Himself. He will "oppose the proud" (1 Peter 5:4), by enacting His Divine wrath against such stubbornness and hardheartedness (Romans 2:5).
In Job 15, Eliphaz the Temanite shares the disposition of the wicked and their ultimate doom when he writes, "(The wicked man) shakes his fist at God and vaunts himself against the Almighty, defiantly charging against him with a thick, strong shield . . . . He will not escape the darkness; a flame will wither his shoots, and the breath of God's mouth will carry him away" (Job 15:25-26,30). Whereas the wicked may think that they can resist the Lord and overthrow His lordship, in the end they will meet an all-powerful God who will hold them to account and punish them severly and eternally (see Matthew 13:41-42).
Jesus gives the perfect account of this reality for the wicked in his Parable of the Tenants in Luke 20. In this story, a vineyard owner leaves for a time and entrusts his fields to some farmers. At the time of the harvest, he sends several servants to them to receive some of its fruit, but the tenants beat the servants in defiance to the demands of the owner. Finally, the owner determined to send his very Son in hopes of the farmers respecting His will, but these farmers were even more determined in their rebellion against the owner. They thought to themselves that the Son was an heir to the vineyard; thus, if they were to kill the Son then the inheritance would be their own. Jesus then records the fate of such defiance when He said, "the Owner will come and kill those tenants . . . . (he) on whom the Stone falls will be crushed" (Luke 20:16,18). The hearers of this parable were indignant at such a story, for they knew that Jesus was referring to their own rebellion. They had defied the prophets whom God had sent (the servants in the story), and ultimately they were rejecting the Son (Jesus Christ). Even though Jesus shared this story to bring clarity to their disposition toward Him as Lord, the teachers of the law looked for a way to arrest Him immediately for His proclamations against them. This was rebellion at its worst.
We must be ever mindful of our disposition toward the Lord. We must understand that God will not be mocked and will satisfy His holiness by judging the defiant heart against Him. We would do well to surrender ourselves wholly to His Lordship and enjoy the blessings of His salvation. It is then that Our Merciful Savior will "lift up our horns" in glory (Psalm 75:10).
Thursday, June 5, 2008
A Change of Heart
I love the transparency of the writers of Scripture. Whereas they wrote under the Divine inspiration of the Holy Spirit, these writers shared their painful struggles in life. For example, Asaph shared in Psalm 73 his frustration with the prosperity of the wicked while he himself was plagued with penury. Asaph envied the wicked. He wanted what they had, and he was angered that God seemed to be indifferent to his circumstances. Asaph felt as if his commitment to purity and obedience to the Lord was all in vain, for it seemed not to bring any noticeable benefits from the Lord. As Asaph witnessed the wicked's calloused attitude toward the Lord and yet were prospering in life, Asaph felt gipped. He desired the wicked's supposed carefree lifestyle, full of affluence, popularity, and confidence; and Asaph's covetous spirit nearly caused him to lose his foothold on the path of righteousness (73:2). The more that Asaph tried to reason through his circumstances in light of his contemporaries around him, the more he became burdened by such gross unfairness and inequity. He believed that he was trying to do the right thing and was suffering for it; yet the wicked (i.e. those who had an indifference to the Lord) seemed to him to be living lives of happiness and blessing.
When Asaph had reached the end of his rope and was on the verge of throwing in the proverbial towel in discontent, grief, and bitterness (73:21), the Lord ushered the writer into His presence at His sanctuary for better clarity of the circumstances. God revealed to Asaph that although the wicked seemed to be blessed in all areas of their lives, there would come a day when they would have to give an account for their wickedness against the Holy, Righteous God. This day of judgment would bring to light the wickedness of these people, as God would distribute His eternal wrath upon them leading to their eternal ruin (73:18,20).
Asaph then realized the had been like a "brute beast" in his ignorance and senselessness to the realities of God's sovereign working. He was reminded that God was using Asaph's circumstances in life to craft him into a person who would glorify the One True Lord. God was choosing to take Asaph through some difficult circumstances to mature him into the person of potential that the Sovereign One knew Asaph could be.
Asaph was reminded that his life of supposed misery was but a temporal setting that would be overtaken by a more glorious existence with the Lord in glory. Asaph then had a change of heart: "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you" (73:25). How beautiful was Asaph's repentant heart . . . He now realized that God was everything. Asaph did not have to dwell in the misery of comparative reflection with others around him; he only needed to keep his eyes on His Lord. God would ultimately resolve the inequities that this life had afforded him. Asaph had grown so much through this experience, that he concluded that even if he were to lose his life, it was okay, for he knew that God was his strength in all circumstances.
It was at this point of serendipity that Asaph started doing some serious worshipping. He loved being in an intimate relationship with the Lord, and he sought God as his refuge even though the times were difficult. Asaph proclaimed that the Lord was good to those whose hearts were pure, and he couldn't wait to share that goodness with others around him. Asaph had a true change of heart, now that he was looking at the Lord and trusting Him by faith. The writer of Psalm 73 was no longer looking at his circumstances around him and becoming discouraged.
Boy . . . this is such a good word for each of us. How many times have we fallen prey to the irrational conclusion that God is not willing to bless us for our faithfulness to Him? How many times have we taken our eyes off of the Lord and looked at our circumstances only to become discouraged that we don't have what others have? We become like the ignorant, senseless "brute beast" that Asaph called himself in that we are driven by our selfish desires and not by faith in God. We must remember that God is good, and He will orchestrate the path of our lives in such a way that we will trust in Him, mature in Him, and ultimately bring glory to Him .
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Open Rebuke is Better Than Hidden Love
Confrontation is never an easy experience, for we are concerned that our expressions of admonition will be misconstrued as self-righteous acrimony. All of us have had situations in which we have observed sinful behavior in our family and friends, and we have felt the compulsion to approach them about the issue. But then we find ourselves evaluating the potential relational damage that could result from such a confrontation. Many of us have acquiesced to our fears that such an intervention is not worth the loss of the friendships that we have, and we say nothing. In the mean time, our friends and family continue down a path of sin, which ultimately brings pain and heartache. Whereas we may believe that we did better by not saying anything, in effect, we have done more damage to our friends and family for saying nothing.
We must remember that the Holy Spirit is the one who convicts people of sin (John 16:8), not us. But many times, God uses us as the instruments to begin the process of conviction in a person's life. Even if our Christian friends respond caustically to our expressed concern of sin in their lives, the Holy Spirit may use that encounter to plant a seed that will one day reach the full harvest of repentance.
Still, we must examine ourselves to see if our motivations at confrontation are pure. As we are restoring our brothers or sisters in Christ, we must make certain that we have (1) assessed the situation correctly and (2) have a proper disposition in our approach. We must make certain that we have examined the circumstances so that we make proper assertions towards the one we are confronting. In many cases, this takes time and even continuous, constructive dialogue with that person about the issue. We must also approach that person in a spirit of meekness and humility, knowing that we are also subject to temptation in our own lives (Galatians 6:1). Some thrive in identifying the faults in others, because it boosts their perception of self-worth. This is an egregious sin that the Lord finds utterly detestable (Proverbs 6:17).
Again, we understand the difficulty in approaching others and addressing sin in their lives; still, we all can remember times when we wished our friends would have had the boldness to share an open rebuke to us in a spirit of love so that we could have avoided the trouble caused by some sinful activity in our own lives. For us simply to share platitudes and turn a blind eye to observable sin in a fellow Christian's life is to sin against that person. We demonstrate by our unresponsiveness that we are more concerned with our personal loss of fellowship with that person than with helping him avoid the perils that sin presents. This ultimately is selfishness at its core.
We must remember that our true friends are those who don't simply share with us what we want to hear, but they are willing to share the honest painful truth with us. Trust is enhanced and a friendship is strengthened when a person in a spirit of love and redemption is willing to admonish his friend.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Daily Bearing Our Burdens
This passage is such a great word of encouragement for Christians . . . for our ephemeral lives often are filled with painfully distressing trials. We all are confronted with burdens in life . . . they are packaged differently for each of us; nonetheless, they are very real and very painful. When David spoke the words of Psalm 68, he himself was reflecting upon the trials of his own life and how he needed the Lord to sustain him through the difficulties. It is good to know that our Lord is genuinely interested in us and is willing to minister to us during our tribulations.
What I find particularly fascinating is David's "processing" through his painful experiences in the following Psalm (69):
1. 69:1-2: "Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold."
Ever felt like you were up to your neck in your agonizing circumstances? Have you wondered if there was any way out? David felt this as he recounted his painful ordeals. The first thing that he did was petition the Lord for deliverance. He knew that the Lord was the only one who could get him through his situation.
2. 69:3: "I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched . . . "
For those of us who believe that we are self-sufficient in resolving any and all of our trials, we, like David, have to realize that we are not able to remedy every circumstance. We need to seek the Lord for His Divine intervention and sustaining peace through our trials. He is the only One Who can give us the strength to pull us through our painful experiences.
3. 69:5: "You know my folly, O God; my guilt is not hidden from you."
David was willing to think introspectively of himself and confess the sin that he had in his life. We too need to examine ourselves to see if there is any sin in our lives that is impeding deliverance from our painful ordeals. Sometimes we may in fact be the contributing ingredient to our misery due to our sinful behavior.
4. 69:30: "I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving."
Here, David is not trying to trivialize his difficult circumstances, but he is able to praise the Lord despite his circumstances. David is willing to worship the Lord simply for who He is in His ineffable glory and for the assurances of deliverance that God has promised to David.
5. 69:35-36: "For God will save Zion and rebuild the cities of Judah . . . . and those who love his name will dwell there."
David was strengthened in the knowledge that the Lord in the end would deliver his people from the bondage of this painful life by ushering them into the blessedness of eternity. David knew that this earthly life would not exist forever, and that those who put their faith in the Lord would see the joy of a "rebuilt Judah (Promised Land)." We too need to be encouraged by the hope that this life will be transformed into the joy of glorification, when we will dwell in the presence of the Lord forever.
Enjoy God's daily presence in your lives, and look forward to the joy of your eternal salvation, when agonizing trials will be a thing of the past.
Monday, June 2, 2008
When God Conceals Himself
Sometimes in our life experiences, we wonder where God is and why He does not make Himself known to us with miraculous regularity. Often, I have heard people say, "If God is real, then why does He not reveal Himself in such a magnificent way that would impress everyone to follow Him? . . . Why is He so noticeably absent from our everyday lives (if He is even real at all)?"
Proverbs 25:2 addresses this question by telling us that God chooses not to broadcast Himself to us, for His glory. God is all-wise, and He knows that we will revere Him more if we are willing to pursue Him above all things. Our glory is in our finding the blessedness of companionship with the Almighty, and He knows that we will cherish Him more, when we have passionately pursued Him above everything else.
Jeremiah 29:13 presents this truth all too well. Specifically, the passage says, "You (man) will seek me (God) and find me when you seek me with your whole heart." Notice that the passage does not say, "you will find me when you pursue me halfheartedly." God is apt to reveal Himself to us when we are focused and determined to find Him. God's glory is mocked whenever we give to Him our leftovers. He is glorified and we are blessed when we pursue Him with unadulterated devotion.
Jesus referenced such a pursuit of God when He compared the Kingdom of Heaven to a treasure hidden in a field, that "when the man found it, he . . . with joy went and sold all he had and bought that field" (Matthew 13:44). Those who find the Kingdom of Heaven (and thus God Himself) are those who are willing to give up all in seeking the Lord.
It is interesting in the gospel accounts to see the Pharisees demanding of Jesus a sign to validate His authority as Lord (see John 2:18 for example). When Jesus did perform miraculous signs, He refused to entrust Himself to the people for he "knew what was in a man" [i.e. their duplicity](John 2:24-25). Although people were impressed with what Jesus had done, their true hearts of apathy (even hatred) for the Lord later would be revealed with Jesus' subsequent miracles. Although the religious leaders knew that Jesus was a "teacher who had come from God . . . (for the) miraculous signs (He) was doing" [John 3:2], they would later persecute the Savior and would try harder to kill him (John 5:16-18). This vehement hatred often was fueled by the miraculous deeds that Jesus performed before the people.
When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, the religious leaders did not rejoice in this overwhelming miraculous act by the Lord; rather, they plotted to take Jesus' life and kill Lazarus to get rid of the Divine evidence (John 11:53; 12:10). Although God chose to reveal Himself in a majestic, supernatural way, the hardened hearts of the people were further spurred on to destroy the Lord.
If we find ourselves angry at the Lord for His apparent unwillingness to reveal Himself, maybe we need to look at ourselves to see how passionate we are in seeking Him. If we think we can beckon Him to us through our shallow superficialities that lack substantive desire for intimacy, we shouldn't think that we will find Him. God, to His glory, will choose to distance Himself from us until we are better able to appreciate who He is as Lord.