Don't Mess Around With People Who Are Not Faithful

Proverbs 25:19: "Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble."

In my ministry position, I council with a lot of people who are grieving because they have been hurt by people who are unfaithful to their commitments. These undependable people make great promises up front; however, they never seem to follow through. It might be an unfaithful husband/wife, an uncommitted business partner, or even an undependable church member . . . these people reveal by their duplicity that they are people of little character. I always have said that true character is revealed over time, especially in times of adversity. These unfaithful ones are only willing to remain committed if they perceive some benefit for themselves. When better opportunities lie elsewhere, they will bail in a heartbeat!

The Word of God warns us about being too involved with people like this. Specifically, God's Word tells us that if we rely too much on unfaithful people, we will find ourselves in a lot of pain and without much progress in times of trouble. The Scriptures use the imagery of a bad tooth and a lame foot to describe such relationships. We know that a bad tooth is quite painful. With each pulsating throb, we are reminded of the tooth's dreadful presence; and we never seem to gain relief until it is extracted. So too we know that such association with an uncommitted person will continue to hurt and frustrate us until we determine to set boundaries with that person (in effect extracting their ability to further hurt us by their lack of dependability).

One thing that we know about a lame foot is that when we need it, it doesn't provide us with the mobility that we need to move about. Whereas we want to be able to walk and do what needs to be done, we find ourselves frustrated that we cannot get accomplished what needs to be accomplished. So too it is with relying on unfaithful people. If we depend too much upon such duplicitous people, then we permit their hallow promises to inhibit us from doing what we know we should be doing to glorify the Lord. Again, the remedy for those who have been hurt by such people is to set clear boundaries to prevent such disappointments from ever happening again. Of course, the one thing that manipulative, controlling, unreliable people do when others set boundaries with them is to press to break down the walls. They don't like not being able to wield their influence upon others; and in their frustration, they will pull out all the stops (and make a lot of promises) to re-establish their dysfunctional relationships of control. Be warned! Character is not found in what a person tells you, but how that person lives his life [which can only be discerned over time]. Make it a point to observe this person in times of tribulation and temptation; this is when you particularly can see the person who resides within.

Make no mistake about it. The unfaithful are self-centered, ego-centric, self-idolizing persons who will promise things in order to use people to benefit themselves. They are people with whom we should have very little contact.