Pride Is the Source of Quarreling

Proverbs 13:10: "Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."


If one could peel back the facade of many of the churches in America today, one would see divisiveness about the most trivial matters. Whether the theme fueling the lack of harmony is the style of music or the color of carpet in the worship center, the deeper reason for such division can be found in personal pride. The original word for "pride" mentioned in Proverbs 13 is a word which means "boiling up"; that is, pride is a swelling of the ego to the point that the person ensnared by it believes himself and his opinions to be far superior to those around him. We also see in this prideful person a vehement anger that wells up when he does not get his way. The foundation of many arguments today is not necessarily the mere difference of opinion but the sinister clashing of unyielding personalities.

Again, since this boastful person sees himself as the center of the universe, to which all creatures are to bow in humble servitude, he is enraged when people do not surrender their wills to his perceived "perfect" will. And if one were to attempt to provide counsel to this arrogant person, in order that he might see his sin of pride, the confronting person is likely to receive a vituperative response. Why you might ask? Because the prideful person is unwilling to hear the wise counsel of others; he is too ensconced in his arrogance to see that he may in fact be wrong. This person often entrenches himself in his "cause" which in reality is his insistence that he get his own way. This type of person is the "cancer" of the church that eats away at God's will for the unity of the body (see Ephesians 4).


Sadly, many churches today are filled with people who are consumed with egocentricity. In fact, in my observation of church life today, I have noticed that many church attendees are connected to a particular church because they have been culturally conditioned there. They attend a particular church because they were reared in a social environment which expected church attendance and/or they have family alliances in a particular church. It may very well be that their dearly departed family members were instrumental in the development of the church. And in their opinion, this familial association gives them license to "run the church" the way that they expect it to be run. Seldom do they keep a pastor for more than a few years, for if the pastor has a vision from the Lord to direct the church in a direction that is different from the expectations of these "church rulers," then the pastor is run out of town. There is little desire for change (even if the Holy Spirit is a part of the change), for these wielders of church power want to maintain the norm in order that their power remains unchallenged.


How many times have I heard of or spoken with grieving pastors who have been called to a church by welcoming parishioners only to find that there is a centrality of power held by a few prominent families, and any deviation from the wishes of those few families brings the consternation and retributive wrath from them, that evolves into a campaign to replace that pastor with a "conformist."


Of course just the reverse can be true in that parishioners can call a pastor who at first seems to be the answer to the church's need for an overseer who will lead the people into faithful obedience to the Lord, when in fact, they soon find that the pastor is a tyrannical despot who seeks to dominate those to whom he believes himself to be called.


Whereas all of us have struggled with selfish pride in some manifestation, we need to remember that God hates a prideful spirit (it is one of the most detestable sins that God hates [see Proverbs 6:17]). Scripture compares an arrogant spirit to the evil of idolatry (see I Samuel 15:23), and we know that the Lord will punish all of those who place any other god above worship of the One True God! Of course, one can argue that an arrogant, prideful spirit is nothing less that worship of self above all other persons and things. Such idolatry is utterly abhorrent to the Lord, and He will judge such wickedness.


God tells us in Isaiah 66:2 that He esteems the one who is "humble and contrite in Spirit." Let us embrace a submissive spirit toward the Lord and others. Let us not push for our selfish agendas in prideful arrogance; instead, let us have teachable spirits that can receive the wisdom of the Lord to live lives of perfect obedience to Him as Lord. Were we within Christendom to renounce our selfish ways for the will of God Almighty, we would find unity rekindled and we would see the power of God released in truly miraculous ways.