The Most Attractive Wife

Proverbs 31:10-11: "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."



If there is one thing that perplexes me in our culture today, it is the selective process by which people decide to marry. One only needs to watch the evening news to see celebrities cycling out of relationships as quickly as they entered into them. The qualifications for which people are looking in choosing a prospective mate are superficial at best . . . physical appearance, social popularity, wealth, etc. There seems to be little concern for the more nobler characteristics that make a person truly beautiful, and this inattention to these qualities is leading couples into the abyss of relational destruction.





King Lemuel in Proverbs 31 tells us that the wife is more precious than fine treasure. Listen to the characteristics that are identified:





31:11: "Her husband has full confidence in her." This husband never has to wonder about his wife's loyalties. She is consistently dependable and faithful to her husband relationally, emotionally, and physically.



31:12: "She brings him good, not harm" Because this wife is driven by Godly principle and because she is consciously committed to ministering to her husband, she is a perpetual blessing to him. This wife is not restless in coveting that which her family does not have; rather, she is satisfied in the coventantal commitment of love that she and her husband have for one another. Never would one hear from her expressions like, "he doesn't meet my needs anymore" or "I want more than what my husband can give me."





31:13, 27: "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands . . . . She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." This wife is industrious and diligent to accomplish things with her life. She doesn't sit around the house eating junk food and watching daytime soaps. She works hard to reach her fullest potential for her Lord, her family, and herself.





31:14: "She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar." She is dependable to her husband; like the merchant ships of ancient history that would carry to port precious commodities for the benefit of the ship owner, so too she brings an abundant supply of blessing to her husband. Her husband delights each night in returning to home from a hard day's work, knowing that the fellowship with his wife will be sweet and fulfilling.





31:15: "She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." Notice that this wife is willing to sacrifice her needs for the benefit of others. She is not self-absorbed, but wants to bless those around her, even if this selfless commitment to others presents inconveniences for her. She is also equitable to those within her household; this wife does not play favorites within the home.





31:16 "She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard." This wife is perceptive, which means that she is observant and is able to discern what will be a blessing for her family. She also contributes to the well-being of her family. She doesn't have the mindset that her husband should take care of her and leave her to live a life of stagnancy and laziness.



31:17: "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." This wife is assertive, goal-oriented, and disciplined. She sees work that needs to be done and resolves to get it done.



31:20: "She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." This wife is generous to others. She is not consumed with her own needs to the detriment of others, but she looks to be a blessing to those in need.



31:21: "When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet." This wife is a preparer for the future; she blesses her family by being prepared for the unexpected circumstances that could befall them down the road.



31:23: "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." This wife is not an embarrassment to her husband. Her behavior in public is constructive and gracious; thus, it brings honor to her husband.



31:26: "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." This woman's tongue is not used as a weapon against others, nor does she speak words that would convey shallowness and immaturity. She speaks words of wisdom and truth, and the people respect her for such "faithful instruction."



31:28: "Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." Notice that this wife is such a blessing to her family, that her children and her husband praise her in response. There is no dysfunction in this home, for this wife is mature, honorable, and dependable.



Again, for a culture that seems to elevate superficial qualities like charm and physical beauty as determinants for prospective mates, the word of God has a word of warning: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Single men, be wise in your discernment for a wife. Do not fall prey to the entrapments of the foolish philosophies of this world; rather, seek wise counsel from the Holy Scriptures, for then you will find the most attractive wife.

Of course, there is a further word of direction for you as you pursue this woman. If you expect a Godly woman to be attracted to you in return, you too must demonstrate all of these same Godly characteristics of honor, dependability, integrity, resourcefulness, discipline, etc. Otherwise you are wasting your time in pursuing a Proverbs 31 woman.