Making Yourself More Attractive

Ruth 2:11-12,19-20: “Boaz replied, ‘I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband-how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the LORD repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the LORD’ . . . . Ruth told her mother-in-law about the one at whose place she had been working. ‘The name of the man I worked with today is Boaz,’ she said. ‘The LORD bless him!’ Naomi said to her daughter-in-law. ‘He has not stopped showing his kindness to the living and the dead.’”

Being a single adult pastor, I’m often asked questions by single adults about dating relationships. Specifically, singles like to ask me the “why” questions: “Why hasn’t God brought Mr./Miss Right into my life?”; “Why doesn’t God hear my prayers to be married?”; or “Why doesn’t God understand that I don’t like to be single?”

Whereas I am sensitive to the longings of some singles in the area of companionship, I do take time to remind singles that they have a wonderful opportunity to make themselves even more attractive by the way that they conduct their lives now, even though no prospect for dating is evident on the horizon. Godly, mature singles are attracted to other singles who demonstrate the same qualities of Godliness and integrity. These mature singles are looking for characteristics in a prospective dating partner that reveal a person committed in his/her faith to Christ, that have goals to accomplish that commitment, and that look to bless others through the pursuit of those goals.

The story of Ruth mentioned in the Bible is a wonderful example of two single people who became more attractive and attracted to each other the more that they demonstrated integrity and self-sacrificing love toward others, without any expectation of return. The story begins with Ruth, a Moabite who had married into the Jewish family of Elimelech, her father-in-law. Elimelech’s wife was named Naomi and Ruth was married to their son. Elimelech had moved his family from Bethlehem to the land of Moab because there was a severe famine in Palestine, and Elimelech’s family had moved to find food for the family. Within 10 years of living in the land of Moab, Elimelech and his two sons had died, leaving both Naomi, Ruth, and another daughter-in-law as widows. Naomi encouraged her daughters-in-law to return to their birth families so that they might be able to remarry, and one daughter-in-law did in fact return home. But Ruth vowed to stay with Naomi in order that she might be able to minister to her aging mother-in-law. When the two returned to Bethlehem, Ruth took on the responsibility of gathering food for the two, knowing that Naomi was not physically able to handle such tasks. Ruth would go to the fields and gather grain that had been left behind by the harvesters. She would look for the fields of those who would be gracious and permit her to gather the leftover grain, and she would work tirelessly for a large part of the day in order that she might be a provider for her mother-in-law. One will notice that Ruth was not embittered by her circumstances. She was not angered at God for the loss of her husband, her lost financial security, or her lost dream as a future mother. She also was not looking for an opportunity to “ditch” her mother-in-law so that she could pursue her own life and find a husband. Ruth put the needs of Naomi before herself.

The irony with the story is found in the response of Boaz, the owner of the land of which Ruth worked. He noticed Ruth in the fields and was made aware of all that Ruth had done for Naomi. Ruth’s integrity was attractive to Boaz, who was a Godly man, and he began to take notice. Whereas Ruth was not necessarily looking for a husband, God was orchestrating something rather beautiful in her life by intersecting her life with Boaz, and Ruth was making herself more attractive through her life of godliness and integrity.
Boaz in return was making himself more attractive to Ruth by the way he treated her. When Boaz learned that Ruth was working his fields and when he had heard of the way she selflessly ministered to her mother-in-law, Boaz was determined to be a blessing to Ruth. He encouraged Ruth to continue to harvest from his field, and he instructed his workers not to prohibit her from working the fields but to leave some of the choicest sheaves for her to pick up. Boaz also made certain that Ruth had ample water to refresh herself during the day as she worked the fields. Ruth took notice of the graciousness of Boaz and shared with Naomi all that Boaz had done. Just as Boaz was attracted to the selfless devotion that Ruth had demonstrated, so too Ruth was attracted to the generosity of Boaz.

Later in the book, one finds that the relationship eventually led to the marriage of Ruth to Boaz. It’s one of those blessed stories that ends wonderfully with the two of them sensing God’s leading to commit to each other their love through covenant. This covenant of marriage would lead to children being born and a lineage furthered, ultimately culminating in the birth of a Messiah, Jesus Christ, years later.